Speak Up, Jackson County - When Asking Questions Becomes the Problem

“The one who gives an answer before he listens—this is foolishness and disgrace for him.” – Proverbs 18:13

There’s something I’ve been thinking about lately, and it really doesn’t have anything to do with who is in office, who won an election or which side somebody is on. It’s about us as a community and how we treat people when they ask questions.

A recent conversation got me thinking about it. I asked a question because I wanted to better understand something. Before long, the conversation wasn’t really about the question anymore. It became more about what I knew, what I didn’t know, my past and whether other people took what I was doing seriously.

That part doesn’t bother me. People are going to have opinions about me and about Speak Up Jackson County. When you put your thoughts out publicly, that comes with it. What bothered me was thinking about somebody else who might be watching.

How many people around here have wanted to ask something but decided it wasn’t worth it? Maybe they didn’t want to look foolish. Maybe they were afraid somebody would laugh at them, talk down to them or make the conversation personal. Maybe they figured it was easier just to stay quiet.

I hope we never get comfortable with that.

Since my past election has been brought up before, I’ll say this too. Losing an election doesn’t bother me. I ran because I cared enough about Jackson County to put my name out there and try. The people voted, they made their choice and I respected it then just like I respect it today.

An election decides who gets an office. It doesn’t decide who gets to care about their community afterward.

If anything, going through that experience made me want to learn more. I started paying closer attention, looking at records, asking more questions and trying to understand how things actually work. And the more I learn, the more I realize how much I still don’t know.

I’m not embarrassed to say that.

None of us know everything. I certainly don’t. There are people all over Jackson County who know far more than I do about certain subjects. That’s exactly why we need to be able to talk to each other.

If I ask something and I’m wrong, tell me. Better yet, show me. I’d rather have somebody explain why I’m wrong than let me keep believing something that isn’t true. If somebody else asks a question and I know the answer, I should be willing to do the same for them.

That’s how people learn.

What doesn’t help is making the person asking the question feel like they weren’t qualified to ask it in the first place. You shouldn’t need a certain education, years of experience, a title or the right connections before you’re allowed to say, “I don’t understand this. Can somebody explain it?”

At the same time, those of us asking questions have responsibilities too. We need to be fair. We need to check facts. We shouldn’t repeat rumors as though they’re proven. A question isn’t proof of wrongdoing, and disagreeing with somebody doesn’t make them dishonest or a bad person.

I think we’ve gotten too comfortable sometimes putting people into camps. If you question something, somebody assumes you’re against it. If you recognize something good, somebody assumes you’ve joined the other side.

Why does everything have to be that way?

We ought to be able to recognize something good today and question something tomorrow. We ought to be able to disagree with somebody and still respect them. We ought to be able to change our minds when we learn something we didn’t know before.

That’s the kind of conversation I want Speak Up Jackson County to encourage.

This page was never started because I thought I knew more than everybody else. It wasn’t created to speak for every person in Jackson County. It was created to give people another place to talk, ask questions, share information and hopefully understand our community a little better.

Sometimes that means talking about something that needs improvement. Sometimes it means recognizing somebody doing something good. Sometimes it may simply mean admitting we don’t know the answer yet.

There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t know.”

There’s also nothing wrong with asking.

I think about the people who don’t normally speak publicly. They may never comment on Facebook. They may never stand up at a meeting. They may not want their name attached to anything. But they still have thoughts, concerns, ideas and questions that matter.

Those people shouldn’t feel like their voice counts less because they aren’t experts or because they don’t know the right people.

We can do better about that, all of us.

When somebody asks a reasonable question, listen to it before deciding what we think about the person asking. If they’re wrong, respectfully explain why. If they’re right, acknowledge it. If nobody knows, maybe that’s an opportunity for all of us to learn something.

That’s really what this comes down to for me.

I don’t want a Jackson County where everybody agrees. That’s never going to happen, and I’m not sure it would be healthy if it did. I want a Jackson County where people feel comfortable enough to speak, listen, disagree, learn and still treat each other like neighbors when the conversation is over.

I’ll keep asking questions because I don’t know everything. I’ll keep listening because other people know things I don’t. And when the facts show I’m wrong, I’ll say I was wrong.

I hope everybody else feels comfortable doing the same.

Because when asking a question becomes a bigger problem than finding the answer, we’ve got something backwards.

Until next week, God bless, and remember: If we want better, we have to do better. Speak up, stay involved, and never stop caring about Jackson County.

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