The Briar Philosopher- All My Life's A Circle

Harry Chapin once wrote a song, the chorus of which is:

All my life's a circle
Sunrise and sundown
The moon rolls through the nighttime
'Til the daybreak comes around
All my life's a circle
But I can't tell you why
The seasons spinning round again
The years keep rolling by.

Those circles are on my mind this week. It has been such a dance of life and death in our little world over the last several weeks. There have been friends lost; Phil Curd, a dear friend in Virginia and a good friend's mother all passed from this world in the last little while.

We celebrated our grandson Ben’s birthday last Thursday. He is 8 years old now, and it doesn’t seem possible. Sometimes those circles seem to turn much faster than we expect. I picked apples yesterday and most of them will be turned into apple butter once the weather cools down a bit. Flowers are blooming, butterflies are coming out of their cocoons, our corn is ripe.

There is life around us in abundance. Things balance. There is sorrow and joy to be had in this life. It is very easy to focus on the sorrow, especially when it is new and sharp and raw and I will admit to a spell of pretty deep mourning of late, not just for those who have passed but for those who are left behind to carry on when they really don’t know how yet.

It is true that not only my life is a circle but all life spins on that wheel. Spring gives way to Summer and Summer to Autumn, Autumn to Winter and then back to Spring. Life comes, new and bright and full of potential. It grows and flourishes and fades and falls away, only to be followed by new life in return.

It is hard to keep all of the spinnings in perspective. One must strive to remember that things often move in their own circles and in their own time, without regard to how we would wish them to turn. We might wish to keep only the sunshine, only the bright blossoms of life, only the presence of our loved ones. We might wish for there to never be storms, never darkness, never withered blooms, never death, never the loss of laughter, love, companionship, joy in another person’s presence in our life. But circles turn.

If we are fortunate we will eventually come to understand that there is beauty in all the turnings, even the ones we dread, even the ones that grieve us deeply when they come. The storms and darkness have their purpose. They bring life and rest. The flowers bear seeds that will bring them back to blossom in another season. Even loss leaves something to be filled with newness, new journeys, new paths.

Paths may never be the same when we lose someone dear to us, but that doesn’t mean that life cannot find a new way of being. Without death, there would be no life, and without life, there would be no death. That’s the way this circle game we are all playing goes. What falls away will feed that which will come forth. It is true of forests and flower beds, and it's true of you and me. Those who we have lost continue to feed us with their love, their thoughts about the world, and their guidance long after they leave us. New generations may well be taught the things we learned from them. And the circle turns.

It cannot always be Spring, always sunshine, always joy, but we learn, at length and with a great amount of trying sometimes, that that’s ok. That is as it should be. We must not, however, rush through the sorrow. All tears must be cried, now or later. Sorrow itself has much to teach us about the depth of our love and the deep meaning of our relationships. Our tears may pour out like a waterfall. It may feel that if we start crying, we will never stop, that we will drown in the depth of them or be washed away completely. But those tears will water our tomorrows and, if they are born from love, we will feel that love come back to us in equal measure.

I started with a poet so I’ll leave you with one. This time Joni Mitchell when she sang,

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game.

Be well. Love one another. Look to do good anywhere you can in this world. Be gentle with those who are wounded and rejoice with those who rejoice. When you look back from near the end of your own circle, you will not regret doing so.