The Road to Mental Wellness With Desert Rose

Envy is a common but often misunderstood emotion that can significantly impact mental health. Envy is a complex emotional response that arises when one perceives another individual as having an advantage, be it in terms of success, possessions, or desirable qualities, that one covets but lacks.

Unlike jealousy, which involves a fear of losing something precious to a rival, envy is characterized by feelings of inferiority, longing, resentment, or ill-will towards the person who possesses what one desires.

This distinction highlights the unique position of envy in the spectrum of human emotions, as it focuses exclusively on the desire for what others have, without necessarily involving a direct threat to one’s own possessions or relationships. Recognizing and addressing envy can lead to better emotional well-being and healthier relationships.

Envy is an emotion that arises when we lack something that someone else possesses. It can be triggered by various factors, including material possessions, success, relationships, and physical appearance. Envy often stems from a place of insecurity and can lead to feelings of inadequacy, resentment, and bitterness. Personality disorders are frequently associated with socially unacceptable behaviours that might not be always considered deviant.

On the other hand, envy has been linked with various forms of maladjustment such as interpersonal conflicts, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, aggressiveness, and even criminal behaviour such as vandalism and even murder. According to the DSM-IV, none of the personality disorders, except the narcissistic personality, is formally associated with envy.

Nevertheless, this “deadly sin” is so omnipresent in human relationships that it cannot be restricted only to the narcissistic personalities. Depression and anxiety can be triggered by a number of different factors. One factor, which we often fail to give much recognition to, is envy. Envy is an interesting emotion. A semi-hybrid of jealousy and anger, envy assumes that others have it better; it covets the lives of others and demotes the positive in one’s own life experience.

Envy lies. It tells us that others have better homes, jobs, partners and personalities. It casts a long shadow over one’s own accomplishments and tells us that others have done more and better. Envy in and of itself is an unpleasant feeling, but when coupled with depression and anxiety, it can become a toxic combination. Envy is usually directed towards those with whom we compare ourselves, those with whom we feel we are in competition.

Envy also costs us friends and allies, and tempers, restrains, and undermines even our most intimate relationships. In some cases, it can lead to acts of sabotage, as with the child who breaks the toy that it knows it cannot have.

Over time, our anguish and bitterness may give rise to mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and insomnia; and physical health problems such as infections, cardiovascular disease, and cancer. We are, quite literally, consumed by our envy. In the end, envy is a question of attitude. When we come across someone who is better or more successful than we are, we can react with joy, ad, indifference, envy, or emulation.

Envy is the pain that we feel because others have good things that we lack; emulation is the pain that we feel because we lack good things that others have. This is a subtle but important difference. By reacting with envy, we prevent ourselves from learning from those who know or understand more than we do, and thereby condemn ourselves to stagnation. But by reacting with emulation, we can ask to be taught and improve our lot.

Unlike envy, which is self-defeating, emulation enables us to grow and acquire the advantages that would otherwise have incited our envy. In the Rhetoric, Aristotle says that emulation is felt most of all by those who believe themselves to deserve certain good things that they do not yet have, and most keenly by those with an honorable or noble disposition.

In other words, whether we react with envy or emulation is a function of our self-esteem.

As always, if you or someone you love feels suicidal or that they are in a crisis there is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for confidential, free, 24/7/365 help. You can also chat at 988lifeline.org. Another resource is the Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741. The Crisis Hotline: 844-755-5325 Until next week, I’m Desert Rose signing off and wishing you all good mental health.